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You are here: Home / Blog

Beads

beads

One brushes a hand gently over their roundness
and feels sublime exhilaration, comparing
their company to the ascent of the sun.
Wild swain had first to gather them intact
from the deep, where an ink-black ocean
conceals a mystery: that one would not survive
the catch. Tangled in sea’s rockweed is more
than an occupation. It is the trap.

 

It Happened on a Saturday

After we ate, Mama would get the number three washtubs down from their nails and fix bath water for all of us and we’d get our only full bath of the week. Then, we would all pile into our Model T Ford and head for the bright lights of Rolling Fork, a town with a population of about eight hundred. My parents would purchase whatever staples we needed at the grocery store where, if I were good, I’d get to have a cold Orange Crush from the ice-water filled drink box. Most of the rest of the time would be spent sitting in the car watching people pass by on the town’s main street. We couldn’t stay late since we had to get home to do the milking and other chores before dark.

On this particular Saturday when the Model T rolled to a noisy stop beside the house, something was amiss. Ol’ Raymond did not come to the side gate to greet us. “Where’s Ol’ Raymond?” I asked.

“He’s probably run off chasing a rabbit or squirrel,” Mama responded.
“Naw,” my daddy replied, “he wouldn’t leave the house with no one here.” As he got out of the car, he added, “There he is lying up there on the porch.”
“Is he just asleep and didn’t hear the car?”
“He had to hear the car. He’s laying funny.”
“Do you reckon he’s sick? Do you think something’s wrong with him?”
“I don’t know. Let me go see,” said Daddy as he moved toward the house.
We stood by the car and watched him walk up on the porch and squat beside the dog. He felt around on him, moved his legs, and examined him carefully around his head. The dog hadn’t moved. Daddy stood up and came slowly back to the car. He had a look on his face I’d never seen before. “He’s dead. Somebody poisoned him.”

Mama began to cry. Gene was too young to understand what had happened. I didn’t really understand either. I had heard about death, but I really didn’t comprehend what it meant. In my short life, no person or animal I had any connection to had died. I just knew that the feeling I was feeling inside was not good.

Daddy went back up on the porch, gently picked Ol’ Raymond up in his arms and carried him around to the back of the house. When he came back, we were still standing by the car. “The chores have to be done,” he said.

Mama went to milk and Daddy went to tend the livestock. Gene and I sat on the front porch. I kept wanting to see Ol’ Raymond come bounding around the house and up on the porch to greet me as he always did with his tail wagging as he administered wet licks to my face and hands. But it didn’t happen. I thought if I closed my eyes and wished hard enough, Ol’ Raymond would come. I tried. I tried real hard, but the only thing that came was the darkness.

Why would somebody poison a person’s dog? I’ve thought of that often since that day. Mama said it was just pure meanness. Daddy said that some people are always wanting to steal something and they just don’t like good watchdogs in general and they try to get rid of as many of them as they can. We surely didn’t have anything worth stealing. The most valuable thing we had was the meat in the smokehouse. Whoever did it knew we weren’t home, so he just walked by, threw a piece of poison-laced meat into the yard, and kept on going. When Ol’ Raymond knew something was wrong, he came to the front door for help, but there was nobody there to help him. Some lowdown human had done what the toughest coon in the swamp couldn’t do.

After supper Daddy got up from the table and said, “We’ll have to bury him.” He got a lantern and lit it and we all followed him out back. He stopped at the tool shed for a shovel and continued down the path that led to the field. When he located a suitable place near the corner of the backyard fence, he sat the lantern down and began to dig. The black buck-shot soil offered little resistance to the shovel and Daddy soon had the grave dug. Then, we all went up to one of the outbuildings where Daddy had put him. On the way back, Mama led the way with the lantern; Daddy came next carrying Ol’ Raymond; Gene and I stumbled along behind.

As Daddy was about to lay Ol’ Raymond’s stiffening body in the grave, Mama said, “Luke, we just can’t put him in the cold ground. Let me go get something.” She took the lantern and hurried back to the house returning shortly with an armload of newspapers. She got down on her knees and lined the grave with them. Daddy put him in and we all said goodbye. Mama covered him up with newspapers, tucking them in good so the dirt wouldn’t get on him. Then, we stood and watched as Daddy shoveled in the dirt.
As I stood there, I had a hurt somewhere down deep inside me that made me hurt all over. And the tears rolling down my cheeks didn’t help any. And that hurting stayed with me for a long time. I’ve experienced the deaths of my parents, grandparents, and numerous friends, but I don’t think my feeling of grief has ever been any greater than it was the night we put Ol’ Raymond in the ground.

Even as this was happening, I could not accept the fact that Ol’ Raymond was gone for good. I had seen Daddy plant things in the garden and corn and cotton in the big fields. Not long after the planting, green shoots would be pushing up through the ground. Why would this not be the same?

As Daddy was rounding off the dirt on the grave, I asked, “Daddy, will Ol’ Raymond come up?”

He stopped and leaned on the shovel for a few seconds before he answered, “No, son, he won’t.” But I persisted, “Daddy, I think he’ll come up.”

“No, son, I’m sure he won’t.”

But I would not accept that answer. I was sure Ol’ Raymond was going to come up out of that ground just like a stalk of corn did. For a long time, I went to his grave everyday and looked for a paw or his nose. No matter what anyone said, I just knew it would happen. In fact, I can remember two or three times going to my mother and saying, “I just passed Ol’ Raymond’s grave and I saw his nose sticking out. He’s coming up, Mama.” But each time I was told that it was just my imagination which, indeed, it was. Eventually, I had to accept as true what my parents were telling me. Death was final. I would never see him again.
Ol’ Raymond deserved better. He was a credit to his breed. He was faithful and brave. He helped his master in the hunt and he protected his family when he was gone. He didn’t deserve to be done in by a coward with some poison in a hunk of hog meat. It would have been better for him to have been bested by some tough old boar coon out in a bayou amongst the cypress knees and water snakes. That would have been a noble end for a noble dog.

 

Your First Impression of God…Elohim

One of the reasons why so many Christians have trouble trusting God, not just for the big issues in life, but for even the minute details of life is because we have so very little knowledge of Who God is to each of us personally.

Yes – we know the Lord Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior, but do we really have a full understanding of who and what God is to His children? His name reveals the many hundreds of different ways that we may know Him and the way He will work in our lives. That’s why the Psalmist makes a very clear statement of instruction for the believer…emphasizing that confidence in the name of God will result in complete trust in Him for every detail as it relates to the life of the child of God.

Could it be that one of the reasons why so many people have trouble trusting God is because they really just don’t know in Whom they trust?

When facing situations in life…many of which greatly shake us to the core…how do we respond as it relates to believing that God really is in control of our lives? We hear someone say, “Well, just trust in the Lord!” Of course, that is easy for them to say, right? It is a whole new ballgame when we are the one having to do the trusting!

As I have traveled throughout the nation, meeting literally thousands of people, I have found that people will approach me and share various needs with me. One may come and share a financial need…another a family need…and still another a physical need. I find myself saying to the one with the financial need, “No problem! God owns it all. He can meet your financial need!” Or one may have a physical need and I reply, “No sweat! God is the Great Physician. He is still in the healing business!”

The truth is – I find it real easy to trust God – in someone else’s life! My problem is when I have to trust God for needs in my own life. My dilemma begins when I have to – if you please – “practice what I preach!” Then it is a completely different issue or so it seems.
However, we all must get a grip on what it really means to trust God for every situation and circumstance in life. So go back to the first question – Why study the names of God?
Well, here are three tremendous facts that you will glean from a deeper understanding of knowing God’s name. You will discover:
A Saving Faith
A Singular Focus
A Secure Fellowship
God autographs His Book with His name. He wants you to understand that all throughout the Word of God – Who He is and What He desires to do for and with each of His children. God has a very definite and distinct plan for the believer and He doesn’t want you to miss it!

The fact that He loves you motivates Him to reveal Himself to you, through His name, in ways that you will never forget. A desire to trust Him more ought to cause you to want to know Him in a more intimate and personal way.

Someone once said, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression!” First impressions are often the more lasting impressions. This is true of a church. If a person comes to a local church for the first time – they are going to form an opinion – whether it’s positive or negative – and they will leave with an impression. But that impression will make the difference in whether they return or not.

It is important to understand that a first impression will then become a reputation. It it is an impression of love and friendliness…then a reputation will be established on that basis. If it is cold and indifferent… then that will be the reputation based on that first impression.
Who God is in your life will transmit an impression in the lives of people you meet.
If people see that you honor the Lord Jesus in your life – then the first impression will have a powerful impact in that person’s life. However, if there is a question as to the commitment you have to the living God – that, too, will make a mark for the cause of Christ.

We must have an optimistic attitude when it comes to God. In fact – someone asked me – “Why are you always so optimistic?” My answer was very simple. “You can’t really know God and be pessimistic!” I believe I am optimistic because very early in my life I met God as Elohim. I have never gotten over that meeting.

I don’t know what you are facing in your personal life. It may be problems in your home, problems with your health, problems on the job, problems with your finances, or problems with your future. But I will tell you this. If you will meet God as Elohim – it will radically, revolutionize your whole attitude toward those issues you face.

Genesis 1:1 – “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.”
This is the first impression of God. Now He could have used any one of over 700 names, but He chooses this name for your first impression.

So what are the lasting impressions He wants to leave upon our hearts by introducing Himself as Elohim?

Here are the lasting impressions that He wants to engrave on your heart as you look at every problem… every person…every purpose in your life.

I want to make a statement that I trust will become a conscious reality in your life on a daily basis. It is an important principle that on the surface, you might readily agree with; however, when you really contemplate the truth of it – you might become a little hesitant to fully comprehend its true reality in your life. But given time – you will see that it is a tremendous statement of the deep love that God has for every one of His children as He is doing all He can to reveal His everlasting compassion and commitment to each of us.
So take a deep breath – pause for just a moment – and then bathe in this realization of God’s revelation to you as Elohim. He goes! Say it out loud if it might help you.
• He is all you need.
• He has all you need.
• He is doing all you need done…Now!
HE IS ALL YOU NEED
God wants you to never forget that He is all you need! The name Elohim is in the plural. It is used over 3,000 times in the Bible and over 2,300 times it is used in the plural. Now notice God is in the plural, but He uses a singular verb. Why is this?

God wants you to know that in terms of His personality – He is – He has – and He is doing everything you need. He is totally sufficient for every need that you have in your life. God uses the plural of Elohim because the plural of Elohim embodies all the bodies to meet every physical need.

The heathen who have never met Elohim – those who have never placed their faith in the living God – have devised a very complicated system of deity. It was inconceivable to a heathen, an unbeliever, that one being could embody all the traits necessary to meet every physical need so they had all these deities created to meet every need.
The goddess of love
The sun god
The moon god
The god of the earth
The god of the sea
God is saying, by the name Elohim, I Am the one and only God of the universe. In fact, I once saw a sign that expresses it this way. “There is only one God and you are not Him!” Now I have met some who thought they were God and tried to act like God, but there is only One and none of us are Him.

He also embraces the Trinity which is necessary to meet all your spiritual needs. Elohim reflects a Triune God. He is the three in One.
God the Father – God the Son – and God the Holy Spirit
He meets every spiritual need. Think of it like this:
We need rules – so God the Father is the Judge and Justifier. We’ve broken those rules – so we need a Redeemer. He died on the Cross for our sin; was buried; and three days later rose from the grave a victor over sin – death – hell – Satan – and the grave. Therefore, we need a Resident – the Holy Spirit of God who comes to live in the heart of the believer.
He is all I need! If you will practice this principle concerning any trouble that you may suffer from regarding a person, a problem, a conflict, a circum-stance, then you can experience a spiritual freedom that you may have long been searching for in your life.

God – Elohim – is all you need! Here is what you will do. You will take whatever troubles you have to Him – Elohim – first, and stay there until He instructs you otherwise.

You’ll take it to Him! I know that may seem very difficult at first, because our human nature says, “I’ll take care of it! I’ll work it out! I’ll do whatever I have to do to solve my problems!” However, that is not meeting God as Elohim.

Elohim embodies all the traits necessary to meet every physical, spiritual, and emotional need that you may have. Elohim is all you need! Whatever you do with whatever troubles you – you will find the answer faster if you will go to Him and stay there until He instructs you otherwise – than you will in any other fashion.
HE HAS ALL YOU NEED
Look again at:
Genesis 1:1 – “In the beginning God (Elohim) created the heaven and the earth.”
God is Master over everything He creates. God has created everything that exists. There is not anything that exists that God has not created. You can’t think of anything that was not created by Him. Therefore, understanding this truth, there are some facts that you need to come to understand relating to God’s provision for your life.

It is His by virtue of His Creation

He has all you need because everything that exists is something that He created. Creation is not just a matter of God taking some pre-existing matter and rearranging it. Creation is a matter of God calling in to existence – by His Word – those things which never existed before. He made something out of nothing. There was not anything created until God spoke it into existence. That’s why there is unbelievable power in His Word.

It is His by virtue of His Control

God not only spoke this world into existence – but this world is also sustained by Him.
Hebrews 1:3-4 – “Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high; Being made so much better than the angels, as he hath by inheritance obtained a more excellent name then they.”
It is His by virtue of Culmination

This means that the God who took nothing and made something is going to take something and make nothing out of it.

Revelation 21:1 – “And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.”

Can you think of anything that you need that God doesn’t already have? How much of what you need does God have? To whom should you turn for the answer to your need?
Psalm 24:1 – “The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.”

It is all His! The truth is…you don’t have a need for which He does not have a supply. You will never exhaust His supply. You should go to God first! Do you see how our focus keeps coming back to God? In fact – there’s not a person who would disagree that God is all you need and that God has all you need. But here is the real challenge of complete trust in the life of the believer.
(Check out Dr. David Davis’ book, “A Name You Can Trust!” for the rest of this chapter and more.)

 

Your First Impression of God…Elohim

Why is it important that we study the names of God? Because it is vital, as a Christian, that we have a full and complete understanding that God’s name reflects every facet of God’s nature and character. One of the reasons why so many Christians have trouble trusting God, not just for the big issues in life, but for even the minute details of life is because we have so very little knowledge of Who God is to each of us personally.

Yes – we know the Lord Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior, but do we really have a full understanding of who and what God is to His children? His name reveals the many hundreds of different ways that we may know Him and the way He will work in our lives. That’s why the Psalmist makes a very clear statement of instruction for the believer…emphasizing that confidence in the name of God will result in complete trust in Him for every detail as it relates to the life of the child of God.

Could it be that one of the reasons why so many people have trouble trusting God is because they really just don’t know in Whom they trust?

When facing situations in life…many of which greatly shake us to the core…how do we respond as it relates to believing that God really is in control of our lives? We hear someone say, “Well, just trust in the Lord!” Of course, that is easy for them to say, right? It is a whole new ballgame when we are the one having to do the trusting!

As I have traveled throughout the nation, meeting literally thousands of people, I have found that people will approach me and share various needs with me. One may come and share a financial need…another a family need…and still another a physical need. I find myself saying to the one with the financial need, “No problem! God owns it all. He can meet your financial need!” Or one may have a physical need and I reply, “No sweat! God is the Great Physician. He is still in the healing business!”

The truth is – I find it real easy to trust God – in someone else’s life! My problem is when I have to trust God for needs in my own life. My dilemma begins when I have to – if you please – “practice what I preach!” Then it is a completely different issue or so it seems.
However, we all must get a grip on what it really means to trust God for every situation and circumstance in life. So go back to the first question – Why study the names of God?
Well, here are three tremendous facts that you will glean from a deeper understanding of knowing God’s name. You will discover:
A Saving Faith
A Singular Focus
A Secure Fellowship
God autographs His Book with His name. He wants you to understand that all throughout the Word of God – Who He is and What He desires to do for and with each of His children. God has a very definite and distinct plan for the believer and He doesn’t want you to miss it!

The fact that He loves you motivates Him to reveal Himself to you, through His name, in ways that you will never forget. A desire to trust Him more ought to cause you to want to know Him in a more intimate and personal way.

Someone once said, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression!” First impressions are often the more lasting impressions. This is true of a church. If a person comes to a local church for the first time – they are going to form an opinion – whether it’s positive or negative – and they will leave with an impression. But that impression will make the difference in whether they return or not.

It is important to understand that a first impression will then become a reputation. It it is an impression of love and friendliness…then a reputation will be established on that basis. If it is cold and indifferent… then that will be the reputation based on that first impression.
Who God is in your life will transmit an impression in the lives of people you meet.
If people see that you honor the Lord Jesus in your life – then the first impression will have a powerful impact in that person’s life. However, if there is a question as to the commitment you have to the living God – that, too, will make a mark for the cause of Christ.

We must have an optimistic attitude when it comes to God. In fact – someone asked me – “Why are you always so optimistic?” My answer was very simple. “You can’t really know God and be pessimistic!” I believe I am optimistic because very early in my life I met God as Elohim. I have never gotten over that meeting.

I don’t know what you are facing in your personal life. It may be problems in your home, problems with your health, problems on the job, problems with your finances, or problems with your future. But I will tell you this. If you will meet God as Elohim – it will radically, revolutionize your whole attitude toward those issues you face.

Genesis 1:1 – “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.”
This is the first impression of God. Now He could have used any one of over 700 names, but He chooses this name for your first impression.

So what are the lasting impressions He wants to leave upon our hearts by introducing Himself as Elohim?

Here are the lasting impressions that He wants to engrave on your heart as you look at every problem… every person…every purpose in your life.

I want to make a statement that I trust will become a conscious reality in your life on a daily basis. It is an important principle that on the surface, you might readily agree with; however, when you really contemplate the truth of it – you might become a little hesitant to fully comprehend its true reality in your life. But given time – you will see that it is a tremendous statement of the deep love that God has for every one of His children as He is doing all He can to reveal His everlasting compassion and commitment to each of us.
So take a deep breath – pause for just a moment – and then bathe in this realization of God’s revelation to you as Elohim. He goes! Say it out loud if it might help you.
• He is all you need.
• He has all you need.
• He is doing all you need done…Now!
HE IS ALL YOU NEED
God wants you to never forget that He is all you need! The name Elohim is in the plural. It is used over 3,000 times in the Bible and over 2,300 times it is used in the plural. Now notice God is in the plural, but He uses a singular verb. Why is this?

God wants you to know that in terms of His personality – He is – He has – and He is doing everything you need. He is totally sufficient for every need that you have in your life. God uses the plural of Elohim because the plural of Elohim embodies all the bodies to meet every physical need.

The heathen who have never met Elohim – those who have never placed their faith in the living God – have devised a very complicated system of deity. It was inconceivable to a heathen, an unbeliever, that one being could embody all the traits necessary to meet every physical need so they had all these deities created to meet every need.
The goddess of love
The sun god
The moon god
The god of the earth
The god of the sea
God is saying, by the name Elohim, I Am the one and only God of the universe. In fact, I once saw a sign that expresses it this way. “There is only one God and you are not Him!” Now I have met some who thought they were God and tried to act like God, but there is only One and none of us are Him.

He also embraces the Trinity which is necessary to meet all your spiritual needs. Elohim reflects a Triune God. He is the three in One.
God the Father – God the Son – and God the Holy Spirit
He meets every spiritual need. Think of it like this:
We need rules – so God the Father is the Judge and Justifier. We’ve broken those rules – so we need a Redeemer. He died on the Cross for our sin; was buried; and three days later rose from the grave a victor over sin – death – hell – Satan – and the grave. Therefore, we need a Resident – the Holy Spirit of God who comes to live in the heart of the believer.
He is all I need! If you will practice this principle concerning any trouble that you may suffer from regarding a person, a problem, a conflict, a circum-stance, then you can experience a spiritual freedom that you may have long been searching for in your life.

God – Elohim – is all you need! Here is what you will do. You will take whatever troubles you have to Him – Elohim – first, and stay there until He instructs you otherwise.

You’ll take it to Him! I know that may seem very difficult at first, because our human nature says, “I’ll take care of it! I’ll work it out! I’ll do whatever I have to do to solve my problems!” However, that is not meeting God as Elohim.

Elohim embodies all the traits necessary to meet every physical, spiritual, and emotional need that you may have. Elohim is all you need! Whatever you do with whatever troubles you – you will find the answer faster if you will go to Him and stay there until He instructs you otherwise – than you will in any other fashion.
HE HAS ALL YOU NEED
Look again at:
Genesis 1:1 – “In the beginning God (Elohim) created the heaven and the earth.”
God is Master over everything He creates. God has created everything that exists. There is not anything that exists that God has not created. You can’t think of anything that was not created by Him. Therefore, understanding this truth, there are some facts that you need to come to understand relating to God’s provision for your life.

It is His by virtue of His Creation

He has all you need because everything that exists is something that He created. Creation is not just a matter of God taking some pre-existing matter and rearranging it. Creation is a matter of God calling in to existence – by His Word – those things which never existed before. He made something out of nothing. There was not anything created until God spoke it into existence. That’s why there is unbelievable power in His Word.

It is His by virtue of His Control

God not only spoke this world into existence – but this world is also sustained by Him.
Hebrews 1:3-4 – “Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high; Being made so much better than the angels, as he hath by inheritance obtained a more excellent name then they.”
It is His by virtue of Culmination

This means that the God who took nothing and made something is going to take something and make nothing out of it.

Revelation 21:1 – “And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.”

Can you think of anything that you need that God doesn’t already have? How much of what you need does God have? To whom should you turn for the answer to your need?
Psalm 24:1 – “The earth is the Lord’s and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.”

It is all His! The truth is…you don’t have a need for which He does not have a supply. You will never exhaust His supply. You should go to God first! Do you see how our focus keeps coming back to God? In fact – there’s not a person who would disagree that God is all you need and that God has all you need. But here is the real challenge of complete trust in the life of the believer.
(Check out Dr. David Davis’ book, “A Name You Can Trust!” for the rest of this chapter and more.)

 

A Beautiful Day

However, I had buried myself in Chicago, working first as an options trader for a while, and eventually back to my first love as a Chicago police officer. Sitting at the Christmas table with my family, my brother-in-law pulled out his new gadget, an Apple iPod. He played music on the strange machine, mixing songs from Sinatra, Christmas tunes, New Age, and U2. When the band, U2, began to play “It’s A Beautiful Day,” a faraway look came over his face. He blurted out, “Yes, it was a beautiful day. I can’t believe it happened; I can’t believe I made it home alive.”

The big Italian Christmas feast we had all been enjoying suddenly became silent. I wept silently as I sat at the once joyful table. My brother-in-law quickly explained his harrowing ordeal, his sixteen perilous hours trying to escape New York City when the World Trade Center was bombed. He had never before talked about it, and I wondered why he chose this moment, particularly with my sister expecting her first child. I was surprised. He told us he’d hummed this U2 song while trying to get home that fateful day. Silence.
I noticed everyone looking at me. I had been working at the bomb site for months, first on the pile and then upstairs at One Police Plaza, in the “war room.” An extended family member had been callous during the aftermath of the bombings, and I have no idea why. She nicknamed me “The Ground Zero Hero.” I never said a word to her about her insensitivity and continued with my efforts at the towers through the year. I prayed that one day she might understand the magnitude of what had happened, and hoped no one she knew had been hit by the deadly terrorist attack.

I sat silently as they all stared at me as if I were an alien. I sensed they wanted to ask, “Why? Why did it happen?” I knew they were probably still in shock and denial about what happened. No one realized the full scope of what occurred on September 11, 2001. Frankly, I didn’t either. I only knew I had to be there; I had to help any way I could. My team of twelve and I went in on September 12, 2001. I was frantic; I was in shock. I was worried about my family and friends. We organized a crew from the Chicago Police Department to go in. Although I am a Chicago police officer, I’m also a New Yorker. Nothing was going to prevent me from getting to the incident site. New York is my home town, it is everyone’s hometown. For God’s sake—it is New York City! Everyone had friends and family in the buildings: firefighters, officers, brokers, accountants . . . many I knew and know.

Initially, on that beautiful day I had no contact with my family; I just kept driving from Chicago to New York, accompanied by eleven heroes. We had one mission: to do whatever we could to help the people of New York City. An hour outside of the city, the cell towers graced me with a signal and I was able to reach my parents in Staten Island. My father, a retired veteran of the NYPD, told me to turn my car around and go home. “The air is too dangerous,” he said, “and the government is lying about the air quality.”
We had words. I told him, “I am here, and so is my team. Please help us. We’ll need showers, and where and how can we get into Manhattan? The radio said the bridges are closed down.”

He fought me, and I could hear my mother growl in the background. Nevertheless, they alerted the entire block where they lived that I was coming in with a team of rescue workers. Neighbors, some whom I’ve never met, welcomed us into their homes for showers, packed us lunches and dinners that fed us for days, hugged and kissed us, and extended to us their best wishes and thanks. My mother and father, true to their nature, kept their game faces on, but I could read my father’s face. It was the face of a war-tested veteran who was worried about me and my team. I simply smiled, not wanting to feed into his fear. I waved. “Mom, Dad, I’ll see you in a few days.” Months later I still hadn’t seen them.

Our arrival at the scene of the attack was surreal. My father had instructed me to go to Jersey City. The boats were loading there for those of us “stupid enough to go in.” My last name carried weight within the departments running the crews. Dad had called ahead, making sure our crew was on the list. We drove in with pickups and SUVs right under the noses of the media, just us, silent and prepared.

But were we? Parking the vehicles and unpacking our gear while wearing our Chicago Police uniforms caused silence to spread among the huge crowd gathered at the waterfront. Groups of people had been staring across the river at the still smoldering towers, that is, until our vehicles rumbled up. Then their attention turned to us. We could feel their eyes upon us, and strangely, we somehow felt their pain. Their votive candles were laid out in circles on the ground, the names they represented written in chalk by loved ones. We were driven, empowered to do our job by the audacity of those who would dare to attack our nation, and strengthened by our countrymen who could only sit and stare in bewilderment at the utter destruction. We immersed ourselves in our work.
A man stood up on top of his pickup truck and started applauding, a solemn, heart wrenching clap I will never forget. He started yelling, “Thank you Chicago Police!” Other people began to clap in unison, a low, structured rhythm of applause. Tears flowed freely from my eyes, cascading down my cheeks onto my sacrosanct police star. I knew family and friends were across the river of darkness, most likely dead. One of my partners approached me, put his hand on my shoulder, and said, “Ar, it’s all good. Let’s get that boat your dad promised.”

We were swamped by a sea of desperate family members, handing us fliers that contained identifying data of their missing loved ones, beautiful pictures, clothing descriptions, jewelry worn, names of the companies they worked for, what floor, and what building they worked in. It took everything we had to accept those fliers; we put them in our pockets as we navigated the path on our way to the boats. We promised them we would do what we could to find their loved ones and call when we knew anything. Unfortunately, those fliers are still with me; I never had the pleasure of calling with good news.

We waited and waited for those boats to come and go. Our number on the list was agonizing. I felt like an excited race horse in the gate, waiting to run the Kentucky Derby. I just wanted to get to the other side of the river. A group of iron workers spoke to some of my team and begged to get on the boat with us, asking if we would say they were cops too. My team members pointed at me, and said, “Ask her.” I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was they were better equipped than we were with their torches and equipment. I knew from reports of the rescue workers coming out that they were under staffed and under equipped.

Instantly, our team went from twelve to twenty-two. My last name was called for the Army Corps of Engineers boat, and they yelled out, “Do you have twelve?” My response was, “No we have twenty-two.” We all loaded. In the middle of that deep black river, the iron workers knelt, grabbed our arms, pulled us down, and we all recited the Lord’s Prayer. Once again, tears rolled down my cheeks. God’s hand hovered over us. Even in that inky sea and with the devil’s inferno burning in front of us, we all felt His presence. Silence.
The engine hummed as we crossed the river, while the waves splashed against the side of the boat. No other sounds were heard. No one spoke. Silence.

Our arrival was chaotic. Our boat docked, and we set off into a scene that could only be described in one word: mayhem. We were greeted with bright lights and a smell that anyone who was there will never forget. Uniforms were everywhere. No one knew whom to report to, who was in charge. Everyone simply converged in spots throughout the many acres and began to dig. At first, we were on The Pile like a bunch of idiots when huge horns began to sound. People yelled at us to get off the pile, the ground was shifting, and fires were burning our shoes and pants. We weren’t told about the danger, nor were hundreds of others.

Chaos was the theme as the days and dark nights seemed to merge together. I lost all sense of time. Nonetheless, we quickly got into a routine, as did all the other rescue workers. Days were not important, helicopters flying overhead were barely heard, and news people sticking cameras in our faces were ignored. Nothing mattered. Everyone walked away, climbed into a tent for a few hours of shut eye, retreating into a shell, cocooned from the daily horror. We got used to finding body parts and never entire bodies. Soon everyone began to whisper in their respective circles in camp at Ground Zero that no one would be found alive. Our tears were not shed at The Pile; instead, they were reserved for when there was a free moment to use the bathroom. Odd as it may sound, I found God and copious tears in a toilet whenever I could find one.

I guess I am biased, being a native New Yorker, but the people of the city came out in droves as I secretly hoped they would. They brought with them food, water, socks, gloves, anything they thought might make our jobs easier. Nothing went unnoticed or without a hug and a thank you. The myth of arrogant, rude New Yorkers was dispelled at Ground Zero, but I already knew that. I was proud of my fellow New Yorkers. I knew all along in my heart they would all pull together. New York will forever be my home.

One evening on The Pile, I heard my name called. I thought perhaps I was on fire again. You get used to that. The shout out actually came from the first partner I ever worked with when I was a rookie on NYPD, my first job as a police officer before hiring on with Chicago. He hopped over the rubble, and we hugged until we almost fell over, crying, laughing, and shaking our heads. He just looked at me, kissed me on the forehead, and said, “I knew you were here.” Nothing else needed to be said. I worked with his crew for a long while, and also alongside the English bobbies who were simply amazing. Months later, I worked with my former partner and his team in the war room. As usual, he tried protecting me, but nothing could protect us from the toxic fumes or the absolute horror that was Ground Zero.

Years later as I look back at my team, two are dead from tragic accidents, and a few of us are sick from the toxic fumes. We sat on The Pile, opened up a few beers, and said, “If this kills us, it’s worth it.” I still believe that to this day. Osama Bin Laden took more than three thousand lives on that “beautiful day.” He killed many souls whose hearts are still beating. We call ourselves the Walking Dead. The ones who can’t forget the white dust covering our uniforms or the deadly air we breathed. We remember the families begging us every time we came outside of the roped area of Ground Zero for help or for any tidbit of news. If it didn’t kill our bodies, it killed our minds and souls, but I would never turn back on that beautiful day. I would do it again ten thousand times. Who else but a Warrior would?
As I sit and watch a video of the band U2 play “A Beautiful Day,” I find irony in that it’s about an airline flight on a beautiful day, a day just like September 11, 2001, a day that brought so much horror and pain. However, as I travel home every year, that same memory brings many of us who were there, who survived the attacks, the widows, widowers, the children, and the mothers and fathers of those killed in the day care, all much closer. I host an annual Christmas party where it is safe to talk about 9/11 without the hush that some have begun to use. There is nothing to be quiet about.

 

The author does it again in this sequel.

This is Highly recommended if interested in war, politics, and action. Seems like the story could be taken out of today’s news. Will be looking out for the next novel!

 

A 21st Century embracing of the musical, mystical, theological, medicinal, and artistic gifts of a 12th Century Benedictine Abbess, newly named a Saint and a Doctor of the church.

St. Hildegard (so named on 10 May 2012!) was an incredibly gifted 12th Century German Benedictine Abbess whose works speak loudly and wonderfully to us today. Her music alone is enough to place her in history, and her work in other areas is equally amazing. She will become a ‘Doctor of the Church’ in Rome in October 2012.
Numerous contemporary writers place her in the rather restrictive category of ‘feminist’. One of the purposes of this book is to allow her to live for us today without that narrow attribution, and to experience her as a human being who lived life in the love of God and who served as a prophetess and teacher and healer and singer and writer in response to her understanding of God’s will. Oh, and she happened to be a woman.
A second purpose of the book is to examine her music and put to rest statements and insinuations that it was not equal to other sacred, liturgical music being written at the same time. Seven of her chants are examined in depth, using different techniques of analysis. Her music is wonderfully and masterfully crafted. And it is certainly not the same as other music following the compositional conventions of the time. That does not make it less ‘worthy’! She flings her chants into the universe, extending the ‘normal’ practices of 12th Century composition. She is also the first composer of Western music to be identified by name as the composer of a significantly large and varied body of works – including the very first Morality Play in music history (Ordo virtutem).
A third, and the primary purpose of the book is to discover, delight, and entertain. Sections on her history, visions and music are paired with meditations using Hubble Telescope images similar in shape to her visions, with exercises to help energize and strengthen the body, and with healthy recipes based on her teachings about nutrition. This is not an academic tome, though it could be used in courses on medieval music. It is not written with investigation, question, and hypothesis in mind. It is a highly self-indulgent narration of a twenty-five year journey of discovery, delight, healing, and realization that we are indeed interconnected with everyone and everything on this planet and in the universe. How humbling. And energizing. And joyful!

 

TEXAS, TEXANS, TEXIANA

I was born and raised in El Paso, and except for the two years in the United States Army, I never spent more than two weeks outside Texas. Correction! I worked the better part of a year in Albuquerque, NM, for their Chamber of Commerce but that area was once a part of Texas.

Provincial? Texas pride? Maybe some of both.

In my second semester as a sophomore at E.P.H.S. I was working construction on the Student Union at the College of Mines. The school officially opened on September 23, 1914, as The Texas State School of Mines and Metallurgy with 27 students in buildings at Fort Bliss. In 1919 the school’s name was changed to the University of Texas Department of Mines and Metallurgy, and in 1920 to the Texas College of Mines and Metallurgy (TCM). The school’s name changed again in 1949 to Texas Western College of the University of Texas (TWC). Finally in 1967 the school’s name changed for the last time to the University of Texas at El Paso (UTEP).

When I went off to college it was a 600 mile drive to The University, though today we have to add “of Texas at Austin.” Never did I suppose that the ding-a-ling college in our backyard at El Paso, Texas College of Mines and Metal-lurgy, would one day become the, yes, the University of Texas at El Paso, or UTEP. Say it more than once and it sounds like an Indian war whoop, doesn’t it?

U-T-E-P, U-T-E-P, U-T-E-P, U-T-E-P.
When I got to The University at Austin, of course, I took some flack from guys in the fraternity who asked me how I ever got into Texas, being from El Paso? Then I’d hear, “You’re not from Texas. You’re from New Mexico. Or is it Old Mexico?”
The issue of Texas citizenship comes up in a variety of ways. A basic question is, “What constitutes being an authentic Texan?”

Being born and raised on Texas soil is a sure answer expressed in one of our Texas anthems (should we call them hymns?). I’ll say being born here makes you a Texan, especially in our family.

You may think it ridiculous or quaint, but it’s true. When my oldest brother Frosty was a medical intern in Boston Children’s Hospital, his wife Betty was expecting. Dad, who by then had moved us from El Paso to San Antonio, shipped Frosty Jr. a cigar box of San Antonio dirt to smuggle into the delivery room at Boston Children’s Hospital so Forrest Moseley Smith, III, his grandson, could with certainty claim to have been “born on Texas soil.” Today he’s a really fine, superb even, real estate attorney here in Houston with a son Forrest Moseley Smith IV, who will in all likelihood will have a son. Cinco? Perhaps.
Like the Star Spangled Banner in which “free” is the highest of the high notes, so also is “soil” in the anthem, The Eyes of Texas.

True Texans know the songs, but we seldom sing ‘em as hymns except on Texas Independence Day (March 2nd), or San Jacinto Day, which is April 29th. These are still holidays for orthodox Texans, and including Ben Franklin.

I always heard that if you have a problem hitting the highest of the high notes (like “free” or “soil”), either Jack Daniels or Johnny Walker can help. But that was in boyhood days before AC was perfected when our family would sneak off in late July to Cloudcroft, NM to enjoy air conditioning naturally at 9,000 plus feet altitude. (Say it with a lilt. Come on now, “naturally!”)

Regarding Texas citizenship, one might ask about other ways to attain it like “jus boli,” one’s right as a direct descendent of a Texas citizen. Or you might ask, “Can a person take some kind of an exam to qualify for becoming a Texan or make it as in taking Texas History?”

It used to be that if you went to public schools in Texas, you had to take Texas history two or three times, as well as exams that go with it. By Texas law I took Texas history in Dudley grade school, as well as at El Paso High School, and again when I attended The University, yes at Austin).

Even though my wife Charis was working on her master’s degree at LSU when she moved here from Shreveport, she still was required to take Texas History before she could teach in any Texas grade school.

Texas history is a unique and wonderful subject! At Live Oak Ranch, our family place near Bergheim, my oldest brother and I started collecting books with “Texas” in the title. Ask yourself, does any other state have anything like the Texas Almanac, encompassing data on all 254 of our counties, some of them bigger than a half dozen eastern United States?
Texas alone has a comprehensive encyclopedia entitled “The Handbook of Texas,” which was first published in two volumes by the Texas State Historical Association in 1952. Now it’s up of five volumes, with most articles the work of PhD candidates in history at The University of Texas at Austin.

While textbooks and histories of Texas abound, Lone Star, by T. R. Fehrenbach who lives in San Antonio, stands in a class by himself. Dr. Fehrenbach holds a PhD in history from Yale and his writing is both prodigious and prolific. Fehrenbach has more love of Texas in his little finger than most Texas legislators have in their whole bodies, and a whole lot more integrity. To hear him talk Texas history is like taking a drink from a fire-hose or it’s best just to read his classic, Lone Star, so you can enjoy it at your own pace.

At the UT Law School in the ’50s there was a professor, Judge Stayton, who authored Texas Civil Procedure, a textbook so big that law students like my brother Paul almost needed a hand truck to manage it. Law students used to say, “Taking Procedure from Judge Stayton is like taking the Bible from God.”

Something like this might be said of Dr. T. R. Fehrenbach’s definitive Texas history set forth in Lone Star. Though he never taught professionally, his single volume is comprehensive and must reading for literate Texans.

I have developed a theory on Texas citizenship that I think holds up consistently. It can be tested on most any Texan you care to nominate, heroes such as Houston, Crockett, Travis, Milam, Bowie, the original three hundred, or your favorite living Texas ex-governor. Perhaps you moved here hoping to get away from other impediments.

It boils down to this: An authentic Texan must be flawed or illegitimate in some respect.
Some years ago, I started collecting biographies of Sam Houston. To say that he was a complex character is manifestly correct. It is my estimate that the total universe of Sam Houston biographies is over a hundred volumes of which I might have a third today. In candor, I’ve not read them all. But I assure you that books about Sam Houston that go down the trail of making him a scout altogether trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, etc., are into deep fiction.

Back to our overarching question of what makes an authentic Texan, you might ask questions like, “How long do you have to live in Texas before you’re naturalized?
When does the claim become valid?

What about one’s identity and family?

What proof of character can you hope to show? What about felony offenses, if any? Health?

Any contagious or social diseases?

What occupations or marketable skills should a Texas immigrant bring?”

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Go down your list. Houston lived for years in a drunken stupor with Indians who called him “Big Drunk.” Crockett, considered a statesman, was but marginally literate. Travis was a wide-ranging womanizer. A lot of early Texans came here to get away from debts. Most of the people who came to Texas were trying to make a fresh start, and that’s why they tacked up signs or painted GTT on their old home places.

“Gone To Texas.”

When early Texans got here they found a lot of other GTT folks making fresh starts, too. They got right down to business rather than wasting time checking credentials, credit ratings, pronunciations or family pedigrees. My great-grandfather Samuel Fountain Moseley summarized it well when he settled in Jefferson, Texas, then a port and the third largest “city” of Texas. He said, “Count every man in Texan honest until he proves himself otherwise.”

Texas has always been a great business state, and that’s a big part of the reason for its greatness; also, the high level of confidence and acceptance are factors in our prosperity. Who cares about how well-connected you are or whether you’re descended like Bostonians from Cabots or Lodges? Who cares if you roll your “r’s” or not, or hold your fork right, or scratch yourself in public, or pick your nose, or scratch your rear in public places.

In the final analysis, the mark of an authentic Texan and only dependable criteria for Texas citizenship is this: You must have at least one obvious blemish or defect embarrassing to yourself or others.

Do you qualify? You don’t even have to tell us what it is.

We’ll take you like you are.

Welcome to Texas!

 

Ol’ Raymond

I never knew why we tacked the first part on. He surely was not old. I suppose it was a title of affection or endearment.

Ol’ Raymond was a red-bone coon hound and a credit to his breed. He was a big dog. I’m sure he seemed big to me because I was so small. But the pictures verify his size. Judging from the size of Gene, my brother, I was somewhere between three and four years old. In one, I am standing at his shoulder and Gene sits astride him like he’s riding a horse. The dog and I are about the same height. In another, he carries both of us on his back with ease. As I said, he was a big dog.

He was an outside dog. In that time and place, no one kept a dog in the house. He generally slept on one of the porches in warm weather. In the winter, he would scratch himself out a depression under the house on the south side of the chimney base and use the warm bricks for heat.

Ol’ Raymond was a very protective dog. As I roamed about the farm, I knew that I had nothing to fear from anything or anybody as long as he was with me. In fact, he was the protector of the whole family. My daddy was sharecropping a new-ground farm in the western part of the Delta toward the River. After crops were laid by and during the winter, he was away from home a lot doing carpentry work. We had an unpainted picket fence around the yard and I heard my mama say on more than one occasion, “No, we’re not afraid to be here by ourselves. Ol’ Raymond won’t let anyone inside that fence when Luke’s gone.” Ironically it was this protectiveness that would prove to be his undoing.

My daddy hunted a lot to put meat on the table. He also ran a trap line trapping mostly mink and raccoon for their pelts. I’m sure the skins didn’t bring much by today’s standards, but in the mid ’30s, any extra income was a bonus. There were usually several skins drying on stretcher boards out by the smokehouse.

He also went coon hunting at night with other men who had coon dogs. They would always come back with coons, but this type hunting was mostly for sport. This was where Ol’ Raymond really proved his mettle. Men would come from miles around to run their dogs with him, and I never tired of hearing the stories my daddy told about his prowess in the hunt. My favorite was his confrontation with Pegleg.

Pegleg was a big boar coon who ranged around the nearby bayous. He’d been trailed but never treed, seen but never caught. He got his name because of a missing paw. That leg ended in a stump which left a very distinctive track in the soft, swampy ground. My daddy theorized that the missing paw was chewed off by the coon himself when he got caught in a trap and could free himself no other way. Coons were known to do that.

Anyway, by this time Pegleg was old and grizzled and smart. He knew how to avoid traps and he also knew any number of ways to throw off a pack of dogs who were hot on his trail. Sometimes he would backtrack on his trail and go off in another direction through the trees leaving no scent on the ground. Or he would swim down a creek or crisscross a creek several times to cause the dogs to lose his trail in the water. As a result, Pegleg had never been treed.

One night the men turned the dogs loose and they struck a hot trail immediately. They ran almost in a circle and soon their trailing bark changed to one that told the men that they had their quarry at bay very close by. The hunters hurried toward the sound and came to the bank of a large bayou. The coon’s tracks showed the missing paw. It was Pegleg. Only he wasn’t up a tree. He was too smart for that. The dogs had apparently picked up his trail very close to him and pushed him so hard that he had no opportunity to use any of his tricks. But the old coon wasn’t giving up by any means. The light from the carbide headlamps reflected off his eyes as he sat on a log out in deep water waiting. The other dogs stood on the bank barking. Ol’ Raymond was swimming out to get the coon.
Now, the last place a dog wants to confront a coon is in water. A coon will usually wrap himself around the dog’s head, forcing it under the water while keeping his own above the surface. In a very few minutes a big coon could drown a dog or whip him so badly that he would leave the fray.

Of course, my daddy had a gun and could have shot the coon, but the dog had brought him to bay and the sporting thing was to allow the dog to try to finish the job even if he got killed in the process.

But Ol’ Raymond had fought coons in water before and come out the winner. Instead of trying to hold his head up when the coon climbed aboard, he would do the opposite and push the coon under water, causing him to release his hold to get to the surface. After two or three repetitions of this, Ol’ Raymond would get the coon worn down and get his jaws on the coon’s neck, ending the fight. But this was not just any coon.

Sure enough, when Ol’ Raymond got to the log, Pegleg attacked. He jumped on the dog’s head and began biting him about the ears and neck. Ol’ Raymond rolled him under and broke the hold. They surfaced and the process was repeated and then repeated again, and again, and again, until my daddy lost count. He confessed that at that point he was wishing he’d shot the coon, but it was too late for that. The two combatants were throwing up so much spray and foam from the murky water and were so closely intertwined that a shot would just as likely hit the dog as the coon. The fight was both furious and long–longer than any fight like this these men had ever seen. Suddenly, the coon let out a squeal that told them that Ol’ Raymond had the coon in his jaws and the fight was over. He tried to drag Pegleg to the bank but was so exhausted that the men had to wade out and help him. The men vowed that they had never seen such a fight in all their years of coon hunting and Ol’ Raymond’s fame spread even farther. The tear in his ear and the cuts on his face and head would heal and be worn as proudly as a dueling scar–the marks of a coon dog who had fought and won.

 

A friend recommended this book and I was pleasantly surprised

This is a well-written intrigue/action novel with military suspense, political intrigue, and an interesting plot about the good guys fighting to stop a state based Islamic terrorist conspiracy aimed at attacking the Greek government and armed forces as well as US forces in Europe. The characters are well developed, the plot is riddled with subplots as various groups vie for position, and the military aspects of the story are fascinating. This book will keep you on the edge of your seat throughout the entire story. I am looking forward to the sequel which is supposed to be out shortly. This book is a great read for someone who likes the Tom Clancy genre of books who wants to find an additional author. I am planning on purchasing several copies to give as gifts for the upcoming holidays.

 

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